Me: “I think Heather over there smells a little bit like pee. Every time I stand near her I smell it. Maybe she’s one of those girls who sneezes or coughs and then she pees a little by accident”.
My humored coworker: “Girl, that’s not pee. That’s her spray tan smell”.
Sometimes they go overboard and their face looks a little Oompah Loompah or their hands are stained unevenly while trying to get that California sun bronzed action.
I hate when the moms come in and have to put their two cents in and hover over you or try to steal their thunder. Let them have their moment without you. Like this last Saturday when I was trying to do my girl and the mom spent the whole time trying to get a lip gloss that looked good on her while bragging about how she never wears makeup and doesn’t even blow dry her hair. Okay, if you look like a model with great skin or have a natural beauty you can brag all you want and really I am secretly jealous. But when you have bad skin, glasses, no eyelashes or eyebrows with frizzy dried hair please don’t tell me about all the things you don’t do because I can all ready see that. Geez, I’m surprised you didn’t say you don’t brush your teeth. I’m concentrating right now on making your daughter look beautiful gorgeous and make her experience the best day of her life. Don’t rain on her parade. Of course the mom never did find a gloss that looked good on her nor did she buy one.
The smell is in the air when winter formal rolls around which lasts about one month because all the schools do not have them on the same weekend. Then there is prom just a few months down the road in case you didn’t get enough from before. You never run out of teenagers or teenagers with spray tans, but you do run out of patience with the moms.
Now…..if they could only make the spray tans smell like fresh flowers, wouldn’t life be nice.