No….Bad Return!! Bad Customer!! a.k.a. The makeup returner.

Oh yes, there are some legitimate returners. They got the wrong product, we put the wrong one in their bag, it was broken when they got it home or a friend gave it to them and they didn’t like it. But seriously? The majority are just plain wrong. We know when they are lying because we just do. Just like a policeman knows all the excuses for speeding…..we hear all the phony ones about why they don’t want the makeup.

When you say the pencil doesn’t roll up anymore….that’s because it’s empty. When you say the foundation color didn’t match but it’s more than halfway gone…..we know you just want a new one. When you say you just got it last week, but the register says it’s over six months because it can’t be tracked and it’s in an old worn out discolored grimey box….we know you just need the money.

Sometimes the conversation goes like this.

Unhappy Customer: I want to return this foundation. It’s the wrong color.

Me: Would you like to try to get the right color?

UC: No, I just don’t want it anymore.

Okay, which excuse is it? Wrong color or you just don’t want it. Just say so in the beginning you don’t like it and you are returning it so you don’t have to lie your way out of it. It’s not a big deal really. But if you tell the truth in the beginning you won’t get caught up in your “which excuse is it” story.

One lady tried returning her fake lashes. Let me rephrase that. One lash….One clumpy, old, stuck on glue, mascara-d, hot mess lash. The other one was missing. She said it wouldn’t stay on. That is disgusting. Why not just try returning your used underwear because you couldn’t wear them three days in a row without washing them.

Another day this lady tried returning two empty boxes that she purchased about a month ago. First of all, we would of known it was empty by the weight when we were selling it. Second of all, why did you wait a month to bring it back to the store? Wouldn’t you figure it out right away? Third of all, who does that?

Trust me we’ve heard it all. We know the regular returning customers. They might buy a few colors for some weekend night and then return it the following week like it’s “rent  a cosmetic”.  We tend not to be very helpful with the constant returners who never keep anything and waste your time because in the end it will come back against your numbers. We’ll acknowledge them but not really sell to them and brush them off to the other unknowing artist. And yes, we have a codeword for them too.

There’s a reason why we have testers. You try them on to see if you like them. Don’t take your product home and then try it on once and return it. You don’t know how many times I’ve heard “I only used it once” or “I barely touched it” because that does not make a difference. We don’t resell it if you touched it once or a hundred. We have alcohol to sanitize the products and granted the lighting isn’t great but you are certainly welcome to go look outside with the mirror so you can see it in different lighting.

So stay tuned,  as pretty much every day is some crazy customer return  story.